Memories

I don't want to get all morbid with you guys, but over the years, this crafting blog has become a blog is about nearlly all the areas of my life...
(save a few choice daily events that I do spare you lol!)
I kinda use it as a cathartic vessel where every now and then, I feel may purge my soul without fear. And today is one of those days. So if you came for scrapping related lovelies, please feel free to pass on today's entry and return again 2morrow where I will resume blogging as normal. For now though, I would like to pay homage to someone dear to me who left my life in 2000.
Someone who I knew, and who knew me, and accepted me, for all I was. Every now and then your life is touched in a way that you don't know about, until that touch has gone.
Lara was a friend of mine who I had known since I was 4, and who had been my friend my entire life. There were moments during our friendship that lacked a little lustre, but for the majority of it, we spent our time in each others rooms, watching movies, sleeping over nearly every weekend, drawing till our fingers fell off, making fake radio stations on a cassette recorder, growing up, finding out boys were interesting, listening to Blur, falling hopelessly in love with Damon Albarn and Keanu Reeves, discovering Art was more than just 3rd lesson on a Friday, learning how to put make up on, healing each others broken hearts, arguing, making up, experimenting with smoking and drinking! And lots more randomness that my mum (who reads this) doesn't need to know lol! (love you mum!)
On March 31st I lost that person forever. She suffered double pneumonia (from a virus caught in hospital after she went in for a bad reaction to pain killers) and her heart stopped. They kept her alive for a further 6 days, but she had already gone.
I was at home when I found out, my mum came and found me at an ex-boyfriends house. I will never forget her face, she didn't need to tell me. I think that was the only time in my life that my knees went so weak I fell. Life shouldn't end at 18.
Nine years on, I have made my peace with the event and have learned how to live without her in my life, but it took a lot of self destruction to find. I hated life with a bitter force for a long time, and it lead to a period in my life I really dislike when I look back upon, but I know it made me who I am today. Grief is different for everyone, it comes with no rules or guide book. There is no such truer phrase than "Time heals"
I miss her, but feel lucky to have had her as a friend for the 14 years that I did.
Anyway - I am sorry to have non-scrappy-posted in such a deep fashion.
I hope you are not offended by my musings today. And thank you for letting me share my inner thoughts with you today, it means a lot to have written them down.
Instead, take from them one piece of advice, go find that one person in your life you perhaps sometimes take for granted, a friend or loved one, and just give them a quick hug.

Oh - and before I go, I dedicate this song to anyone who has lost someone, It just so happens to be very beautiful.. give it a whirl...

Candy & Cards

What the......
When did Love hearts go weird!!!
Over the years I have accepted the changes that they have brought in slowly, like "bonnie lass" and "Text me", I did feel "fax me" was behind the times when that came out, and smile every time it crops up, however, last night I found some love hearts in my tote that I had stashed away for a weekend away (and forgot about) so me and Ben devoured them watching the "secret millionaire" *FYI.. I need to buy tissues...* Anywho, we normally read each one first and if its appropriate to each other, hand it over, but when we came across these two last night we were like "who would these even be appropriate too? Unless your name was Jo and you were particularly happy that day, or Julie and a mum (ok, I know that last one is slang, I wasn't born in a bubble)
Love hearts are just not the same. Which has lead me to ask the next question....
Where has all the romance gone!?
Me and Ben have decided that with the help of our families (if they are willing) We want to have a "date night". When you have a 1 year old "romance" can somewhat dwindle. So we have decided that once a month *after Weigh in!* We will have dinner out or go to a movie, or even a glass of vino by the waterside, whatever, but something! I think it will be good for us.
I wonder if we will do it, keep it up and enjoy it?

lol @ those love hearts!
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So.. Rach bought me a cuttle bug embossing folder in Swiss dot.
I { HEART } THIS ITEM SOOO MUCH!
I don't think life will be the same.
Ben doesn't appreciate me dot swissing his post - but I firmly stand by my belief that dot Swiss makes horrible post easier to deal with!
Anyway - So, I had a few cards to make, and it seemed appropriate (necessary) for me to dotswiss some Kraft and white before making them, and I love the results.
What did we do before this texture?!
I think Bazzill should release Kraft in Dotted Swiss like NOW.
If you read my blog Mr Bazzill (lol) Please heed that advice.
Anyway - I'd better go, I have a small child in the corner of the room head to toe in egg mayonnaise and pombear crisps that needs some attention!

Photos

I haven't blogged for a couple of days, but I do have an excuse. Rach visited my little hometown on stage 3 of her South Coast tour.. we had planned since January for me to do a little photo session of her and Rob, as they are self time junkies (like me and Ben!!) and sometimes you crave someone else taking the photos for a change!
So, we started off at some cool beach huts, working our way to the De la warr pavillion domes and then to some cool old ruins in a country garden.
They were cute to photograph, even though the bright sun tried to burn their retinas.
Anyway - I just wanted to post some so Rach can see a couple of my favourites.
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In other news, today was a momentous day, March 28th 2009 marks the day that Finlay first said the words "I love you" to me. I was sitting on the lounge floor and said it to him first, and he repeated it back to me, I thought at first it was a cute fluke, but he did it again when I laid him in his cot this evening! I burst with pride. My mum was here to witness the first time he said it, which was lovely, as I could see she was as touched as I was about it.
*beam*
Poor Ben has not had such a great day, at 10am he took one of his residents to Hospital due to an act of self harming that needed attending to, and whilst he was there an Xray revealed that the guy had also swallowed some batteries!!! so 12 hours later, he is still at the hospital! I feel sorry for him in every possible way! 12 hours on a plastic chair is not fun.
Anyway - I better go, I have a cuttle bug dotted Swiss embossing folder and a pile of linen effect white card to play with! I am SOO excited!

one of those posts

where is late at night, and I have more photos than I do words.....

You know the type.
I am just making sure I blog stuff before it gets "old"....
These pictures are in no actual order. Just like this entry really.
Right, we kick off with two pics which are of some AMAZING beach buildings (like huts but properly stone built) near us, they have been here years, but I forgot all about them till I did a random walk the other day, I had to go back with the camera and get a picture of them. They will be perfect for doing little photo shoots in. If it were not so freezing today I would have self timed us all in there but the sea wind was harsh and hurt my brain too much.
The next picture is of a LO I literally just finished (and still have white paint on my fingers from) Its a terrible photo due to my impatience and it being 10.30 at night. Its Finlay on a swing in a local park to us, he loves the swings, and watching other kids on theirs. So cute - I got the torn edge with clouds showing idea from two peas gallery -I can't find it now to show you :( It was such a cute idea, I didn't have any cloud paper though, so I had to knock some paper clouds up out of bazzill and stick them onto some blue before mounting it behind the layout tear.
The next is my current layout for the Dreamgirls Blog. Its a really cool challenge where you have to use Green & Bling (woohoo my 2 fav scrappy things!) and Scrap the title "If I were a rich girl" So here is my version of the challenge - I used some dribbled paint, I quite like the effect though it tends to "buckle" the card stock.
Next - is the card I made my Mum for Mothers day, I have decided I need the cuttle bug Swiss dots emboss folder, if anyone has one they want to sell email me! (email link on right)
The next two are photos of my hall, today I decided that it was too boring so I stuck the IKEA wall frame decals I have been hoarding. Some have nails in so I can hang "pretties" I will probably use some mini bulldog clips over the nails so I can change postcards etc frequently.
And then last, but not least is my lil man on mothering Sunday, it was warm enough for a run around mum and dad's garden. He loved it heaps and makes me sad I cannot provide a garden for him where we live :( *flats are rubbish for that* We do have a small bit of garden out the back but its communal and I just feel weird. For his sake I might just bite the bullet, get over that and buy him one of those mini swings from Argos, he would I know, love that.
Right - as I said, I really have nothing fabulous to say, so I will bid you all a good night and sweet dreams.

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Friday feeling.

Sun was out again today :-D
Makes me happy, I love that in-between weather you get in the spring. Warm sunshine which means you can risk going out without a coat, but not so hot that you end up a sweaty lump.
Mum and Dad ventured into Bexhill, and we ended up on the beach watching Finlay point out all the "cats" on the promenade. I think some "smaller" dog owners get offended when Finlay shouts "cat", but most find his affection for their canines charming.
Last night I scrapped, one for me, one for Dream girls. The one below is a layout featuring a scan of Finlay's first drawing, (scribble) which obviously means a lot to me being a crafty lady.
Dotted Swiss Bazzill!! {heart}

This is a close up of an upcoming Dreamgirls challenge, I NEVER scrapped in yellow in my whole scrappy life, so this was interesting! (that's not the actual challenge, but its how It worked out for me.....)

This is a little "close up" of a GoGo layout...
Right.. I am off, Its Friday night, wine and Ben need some of my attention
(in that order lol!)
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That Spring Feeling.

I love spring (I don't love the tiny almost non existant flies it brings with it though....one is flitting round the computer screen as I type and its making me itch!!)

Today we had lunch in the park, as usual, the park brings different photo opportunities whenever we go to it! Today the park was filled full of daffodils and crocus flowers, perfect for the April GoGo kit which is spring colours. I have to say, even if I was not on the DT it would be one of my favourite kits yet, everything about it matches to perfect precision.

It has certainly made me soul search and find some love for patterned papers, its easy to mix patterned papers though when they go together easily.. which these do. The "Younger than spring are you" Layout is one of my favs, I used a mix of the Create kit and the Greetings kit, the little thickers are lush, and you get loads on a sheet (Stash bonus!!)
Here are two of the photos I took today, Finlay ripping the heads of Daffs in the park! (ok, it was one daffodil and then I rescued them!)
The bottom one is him getting a bit overwhelmed by nature, now and then when he gets a bit "over filled with delight" He puts his hands on his ears! It is very cute.

I have more scrapping to do today :-)
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I had the massive sudden urge for a photo of me and Finlay today, but couldn't be bothered to set up the porta-studio so just grabbed him and got Ben to snap away at us on the stairs. Finlay was not in a great mood, he is getting over the throat infection still and grumples is his middle name, so I was surprised to even get one good shot! Look at the last one, you can see a little hot cheek where another tooth is endeavouring to show itself. Teething is a strange old business, I feel so sorry for him when he gets like this. I love how they came out considering they were so quick and informal. We sat there as long as we could before he quite categorically told us enough was enough, see below lol!

Monday Monday....

Hello :-D

I woke up with that "Monday" feeling today, but it soon vanished when I got Finlay up. Having been away since Friday lunch time, it was great to wake up to him again. I saw him briefly last night when I got home, but this morning I pushed his door open and popped my head round to a welcoming "wow! Hiya Mumma!" It took that "Monday" feeling and squished it out of me.
There is something about the way Finlay greets you in the morning that shows such love.
We decided to take a stroll to the beach (5 mins away) as it was such a nice day and get a subway for lunch. Whilst on the beach, we were joined quite by fate, by Diana (Ben's mum) who said she was walking down the promenade and saw a little family on the beach and said that it was a lovely sight and then realised it was us :-) Finlay has taken to the pebbles in a serious way, he loves the feel of them and adores rolling down the little pebble dunes. So much so that in the afternoon we went back, for teacakes and more beach fun. I am so very lucky to live so close to the sea, I hope Finlay grows up to love it as much as he does now, as it is such a peaceful and relaxing place to be. Hence all the photos above!
Ok, new topic, I feel I have rambled on about pebbles enough for a few weeks!
This is the 7th (out of 8th) Layout from the previous weekend crop... It is (and I just laughed out loud) About Finlay at the beach!! (I swear I hadn't clicked till I just looked at it again!)
Well, even so, its still in my top 2 fav layouts of that weekend as I love the wave effects. Its a really simple layout, as I wanted the photo to be the focus. The wave elements are digital and printed out (wow check me out being all hybrid!) and glittered to an inch of their lives.

Onto some GoGo scrappyness... This weekend was just fab, Lorraine and Janice whisked us away to a 600 year old house for a Scrapagogo DT weekend, the house was so old it was scary! Esp as it was filled with "haunted" rumours.. but luckily the spectres didn't show or steal our stash. The weather held up to get some Team photos, one of which is below...

I was really touched about how lovely these girls are, and how welcoming they were (as I am the newbie) I laughed so much this weekend, it really was medicine for the soul.
Plus there were more cupcakes than you could shake a weight watchers bar at!
The two layouts below were 2 of 6 that I did, I cannot show you the last lot yet, but I will do as soon as I can as I love them! The first is on delicious Dotted Swiss, it is one of the new CHA colour releases -I wish they did Dotted Swiss in all their papers. As a very often "non" patterned paper scrapper I tend to opt for dots A LOT! And I warn you, I don't think I will get bored of dots anytime soon. I sometimes consider changing my name to "polka"
But then society frowns upon random names. Anyway, tangent! Its called "snap shots of you" (title credit to Laura :-p ) And the little photos are picasa'd.

This one (surprise surprise on dotty paper!) is a montage of recent beach pics. The wave is made from cutting up a sheet of Fancy Pants Summer Soiree. Cute paper, I love how it looks on the black dotted. I distressed the edges with a tool that Sally had from stampin up, which I soon have to have or I will have a scrappin tantrum!
Ok. Well I think that's all for now, thanks for sticking around to the end of my post!
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Layout #6

This is layout number 6 from the weekend...
Its called reservoir cats, because at the moment, Finlay points to most animals (and some people too) and says "look a cat!!!"
and then often does a little high pitched version of "meeoow" which is astonishingly cute.
The trees on this page are my own design, I am messing around making some digital printables at the moment, and these trees come on a sheet of A4 - four different sizes.
I really like turning sketches into "real" scrapping.
I love the cloud ribbon on this, I bought a yard from ebay a year ago (if not more) and I love it so much that I hardly use it..
Laura let me steal a whole title from her basic grey chipboard alphas, which are adorable and a real must have. I think I can justify loving alphas when I use such little patterned papers!
In fact, so far this year, my favourite must have stash items are the new embossed bazzill (even though some of it is disappointingly flat!!) and the Dotted swiss range. I am really into the plainer style sheets of coloured papers, its the only basic grey paper I like (the stuff they included in their kits to fill them out lol! my fav! I always gun for the underdog)
I roughed the edges of this layout, whenever I do this, I always wonder if, when I am long gone and dusty - my children will find my Layouts and look at the distressed bits and go "oh dear, this ones ruined" and throw it out lol
***
On a random note, Uk shipwrecked is well underway, and its about this point in the show I start to gain interest in one side more than the other.. normally I am a tiger through and through, but this year the Sharks are tipping the favour balance... anyone else a Shark fan?
***
Finlay has a throat infection, a really high temp and lots of sickness and bottom troubles...
I am being a stay-at-home-mum-on-the-floor-ready-for-cuddles today. Bless.
xxx

Layout Number 5

This is the fifth layout from my scrappy weekend, and my 4th favourite...
I was really un-frugal with this patterned paper at the back, and to the shock of my companions I didn't "gut" the middle out!! I feel guilty about it, but at the same time I like how sturdy the layout is now! he he. Plus, I was heavily patterned and you know me, my patterned paper phobia rules on...
I am getting better though.. as long as there is a large amount of "plainer" area I will be OK!
For the first time in years, I have actually sewn on a Layout! I was in a room full of girls who weren't afraid to use darning needles, so I embraced that and some of Shim's gorgeous Martha Stewart threads and got to grips with button sewing. Even at the cost of Rach's needle.. (as I had already glue dotted the buttons on!!!!!) Rach, I know I still owe you a needle! (I feel bad!)
Anyway, not much else to say about that really, I don't have any other news apart from that Finlay has had a tummy bug for the last 5 days, I thought it was "teething belly" but it turned out to be a little more than that. So I have pretty much sat on the floor with him these last few days offering cuddles and bottom cream when needed.
Oh, and Photobox rock my little world. I ordered at 3pm on Tuesday (yesterday!) and at 4.45 they were in the post and arrived this morning!!!
woohoo!